Miracle

After a heart-wrenching good-bye to Mr. Peter, G spent the next day with a babysitter he hadn’t previously met, and then the following day with another new babysitter… and he had great behavior both days!  He’s talking about how sad he feels.  He’s using his tools to help himself through each day.

My child who cannot do transitions is doing well through this transition.  Praise God.

Sad

The last day of kindergarten, G sobbed – “I don’t want this to be my last day.  I don’t want to be a big man.  I don’t want….”  I’m forgetting his last point, but wanted to record the gist of his emotion.

 

Monday was Mr. Peter’s last day.  G held it together until the very end.  Then he couldn’t watch Peter leave.  He just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

 

So much sadness.

House of Sad

We're fully into transition mode.

Only 3 more days left of kindergarten.

Only 9 more days until Mr. Peter moves cross country.

There's a lot of Sad right now.

Celebrating the Boys

Little by little we're stealing moments to celebrate Joseph's 18 years.

Friday after band camp we gifted him.



Comforter & sheets for college.  Not too exciting when college is still a year away.  But exciting if you realize that he wouldn't otherwise get new sheets for college.

Saturday was dinner in Chinatown with his dad's family.  No one there was very concerned about photos.  Which may explain why all I have is these...

No evidence that the birthday boy was there.  You'll have to trust me.

And then celebrating G....  Can you believe that I can take him out to a long restaurant meal now?  At church now we make it through all of the opening songs before I have to take him out.  He's developing the ability to sit!

Don't ask me why sitting is a problem.  I imagine him at the orphanage for 3+ years doing nothing by lying & sitting.  Yet when he came home, he could/would not sit still for anything.  Maybe it's the "quiet" part that was tripping him up.  Maybe it's just that he knew what fun alternatives to sitting we have.  For whatever reason, it was an issue.  Only it's becoming less of one all the time.  Love it!

Vacation: Part 2

WARNING: This post includes 10,000,000 photos. 

It was impossible for me to cut out any more cuteness than I did.

So - finally - Part 2!  I wasn't sure if my friends would want photos of their children on here.  One did; one preferred not.  So, while I am about to swamp you with cuteness, just know that -in person- the cute factor was even more extreme than this!

On Saturday our family was able to meet up with two other families.  Each had adopted one of G's friends from Haiti.  These were children who G lived with for the first years of his life.  It was AWESOME and AMAZING to be part of their reunion.

G goes to day care most days.  He sees the same other children every day.  He plays next to where they're playing.  Sometimes they interact.

Not so with the friends we saw on Saturday.  G had an absolute blast.  He was so happy to see his buddy.  And played with him wildly.  My favorite part of the weekend was watching this game:

1. Run to a good spot.

2.  Hug each other really hard.

3.  Spin around while hugging.

4.  Fall to the ground.

5.  Continue hugging while rolling around.

6.  Get up & repeat.

I did warn you about the serious cuteness, didn't I?

We went to a Childrens Museum together.  And, if you're counting - yes - that does mean we hit two Childrens Museums within two days.

There was a show.  Different dancing styles through the decades.  I rocked out the 80's, of course.  Both boys enjoyed watching the show.

But only one boy knew his way around the dance floor.  Wish you could've seen his moves!

G may not dance, but he knew how to look cool on a motorcycle.

We were treated to a merry-go-round ride.

I couldn't decide about posting M's photo with his mom

or with his sister.

Both were too cute - eh?

There was hiding

and flying

and driving.

Big brother P was a delight!  He told us all about puffer fish.  And he even shared his cotton candy.

Back at the house there was jumping

and running outside

and running inside.

It was a wild wild day.  Tons of fun. 

We're so grateful we had the opportunity to get together again - in the USA!

Ownership

I've been meaning to post that G has been into Identification.  Multiple times a day he thumps his chest and asserts "G!" (his version of his name).  Apparently, this is so I remember who he is.  He often follows that up by poking at me and asserting: "Mama!" 


We've recently made a transition from the great Identification game to the even better Ownership game.  It's a very similar game.  Both of the words are said exactly the same way.  But now, instead of thumping or poking us, G sticks his finger at whatever item requires clarification of possession.  Examples include my chicken dinner... (finger inserted) "Mama!"...  and my old tshirt (clutched to him) "G!"


Hours of fun, I'm telling you.

Joy

It is spectacularly wonderful to have G home.  After all these weeks, still -every single night- I look at him sleeping and thank God for bringing him home.  There's a crazy joy that threatens to burst out of me sometimes.  Last week one night we were in the kitchen.  Caribbean music was playing and G & I started to dance.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  I had to say out loud: "This is a dance of joy for you, God."  Yeah.  Crazy.

I know that God is good, whether I can see it or not.  But - WOW - He has been so good to me.                                                                                                           (Photo from May)

Attachment Strategy

One of the attachment strategies I read about was encouraging a Comfort Object for your child.

Before I went down to Haiti the first time, I got 3 identical little blue bears.  The plan was for me to introduce the bear to G, for him to love it all week, for him to take the bear back to the orphanage to provide comfort until it was lost, and then for me to bring another bear when I went back to pick him up - thus jogging his wonderful memories and making him feel happy & secure.

Only, G hated the bear.  He delighted in throwing it as far away from him as possible.

I tried the same concept before he transitioned to preschool - using a blanket - a lovely blanket that would provide him extra security & comfort as he learned to sleep at school.

Absolutely no interest in the blanket.

Now, I happen to have this shirt:

It's a nasty old painting shirt, but one that I've been wearing often since G came home.  It's the kind of shirt that you wouldn't be sad if your toddler made a mess of - the perfect shirt for wearing around G.

Only, I can't wear it any more, because this has become the beloved Comfort Object. 

Mercy.

Dinner Is Served

This was Week Three of my amazing gift of meals from my co-workers.  Corn & salad & jambalaya & cake.  Oh my!

.

(Yeah. The boy REALLY wanted "mo" cake.)

A Miracle

I haven't cried.

Not even when I looked out at the perfect sunshine and remembered afternoon walks to the park with G.

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

Phil 4:11b

For a long time I've been striving to learn that lesson.  Maybe I'm finally getting there!

Ok.  Paul was imprisoned when he wrote that, and I'm just spending a few hours at work, so it's possible that I still have some lessons to learn.  But still.  I know it's a miracle.

Thanks for your prayers.

All You Can Eat Pasta

Oh my!  My fabulous co-workers have given me a fabulous gift.  Once a week for the next NINE WEEKS, someone is bringing a dinner for my family!  Soooooo wonderful!!!

Tonight was pasta - two kinds - with bread - and slaw - and cookies.

Not only was it beyond delicious, but it saved my life.

Rush from work to get G, rush home & warm dinner for Joseph, rush Joseph to band, rush home to feed G.  G & I said "Ah-ya-yee-ah" throughout the whole meal!

I miss days with G at the park.  And the evenings are way too short - just enough time to drive Joseph around, feed & bathe G & get him to bed (then wake him up to go & get Joseph - ugh).


BUT - we both survived Day One.
I'm thankful to have a job, a good job.  I'm thankful for every minute I do get to spend with G.  G seems happy.  He did well again with day care.  No tears.  He super-clings to me when I pick him up, though.  And he about killed me with his nasty-wet kisses on my mouth.  [Yes, he has a cold - and, yes, I accepted the kisses anyway.]

So, thanks for praying.  The transition is going as well as I could imagine.  I'm so grateful.

I'm tired...

Transitioning

The garbage truck arrived early this morning, so we got to see it - an exciting surprise!

Are you noticing that unicorn-like stub protruding from his forehead?  Another fall.  The boy does seem to land on his head a lot.

Today was MAJOR day care.. 7 1/2 hours.  And again, he did well.  Praise God!!!  They were playing outside when I arrived, and while G wanted to hug me, he also wanted to stay & keep playing.  I know he likes being around friends.  Apparently he also had no potty accidents AND ate vegetables (undisguised, I'm assuming).  Wondering if I should look into boarding school.

G's roughest time of day is after nap & before dinner.  I try to be prepared emotionally to cook one-handed while carrying him around.  These last few days of day care, G has really increased the unpleasantness of that hour.  He's been extra disobedient & demanding & unhappy.  I'm assuming that while he likes day care, it's still stressful for him.

Sorry I didn't update on the IEP meeting.  My dad came & sat with me so I'd have another set of ears there... which was a waste of two people's time!  Here's the "special services" timeline so far:

     November '09: I call to see about getting G screened (was expecting him home any day).  I'm scheduled for their next screening...

     March '10: The screening.  I'm told that to expect someone to call me to schedule a "full screening."  ?

     April: I call & call & call to inquire.

     April: I call to ask what my rights are.  Voila!  The next day an IEP meeting has been scheduled.

     April: You pray.  I prepare.  The big meeting where I'm told... "We need to schedule a full screening."  The district now has 60 school days from the meeting date to accomplish that screening.

Do I need to spell out the lessons I learned?

My impression of the special ed team, though, is that they seem caring & competent.  Whenever we can start working with them, I expect good things.

All Good

When I get G ready for bed, putting him in his pjs, he always stretches up his neck & chin and points to the base of his neck.  This is apparently Kreyol for "zip up my sleeper all the way to the top."  The boy likes his sleepers.  It is deliciously cute.


When G wakes up in the morning, he catches my eye, crinkles his eyes to smile, and says "Muh ma ee" ("Good morning").


G didn't want to come home from day care today!  When I arrived, the children were on the playground.  I saw G assume control of a little trike, and then successfully gesture/command another little boy to go get on the other trike.  Bossy!  The teacher confirmed all was smooth: No tears today!  And she asked: "He's very funny, isn't he?"  Why, yes; he is.

Just News

All is well.

Thursday we spent the morning at preschool and the evening at college. 

Friday - back to college.  Wheaton put on a GOOD show.  Seriously, there is something special about that school... energy, vibrancy, polish & friendliness.  G only had one meltdown.  Fortunately it was during chapel, and I'd gotten him downstairs, so it was largely unnoticed - except for the ?Filipino? cleaning woman who tsk'ed loudly and informed us several times that G shouldn't be doing that.  Thanks for the tip.

Weekend - nonstop running around.

I had to wash THREE batches of dishes before all were again clean.  Yeah, it was bad.

And the big news....  G started day care today.  It seemed to go well!  Just one hour, but I didn't see any tears (and didn't ask if there were any while I was gone).  I still love his fab teacher.  G has been very demanding / clingy / disobedient tonight - maybe reminding me that his adjustment is still "in progress."  We'll see.

He has a longer stint at day care tomorrow.. plus another vaccination.  Our first IEP meeting is Wednesday (prayer request).  In general, this will be a busy week.

Worth a smile: my favorite new G word is "weh-we" ("ready").  It's spoken as a question, and usually means that he's about to hurtle something for me to catch.  It's helping my reflexes.

The bottoms of all my t-shirts are stretched out from being pulled on all day long.  Annoying.  And my face keeps breaking out, which I'm sure is from G's hair cream rubbing on it all day long.  Also annoying.  How long did I wait & dream of the day when I'd be pulled & loved on?  And now I get annoyed?

The recipe book from Diane is working!  G downed a full serving of carrots today.. disguised in his mac n cheese.  ah ha ha ha!

Three bits of Joseph news...

1. I got a mid-term report this weekend, showing that he's FAILING History (his possible college major) (provided that he gets accepted to college).

2.  He got his ACT score today.  It's good!

3.  The History teacher sent an apology for the incorrect report of failure.  Good thing I took the original news so calmly.  ahem

Packed Full

Tuesday was our first trial run with day care.  It's hard to get going so early in the morning!  G was not feeling the urgent need to get out the door.  He also wasn't ready to eat breakfast so soon after waking.  Breakfast is the meal where he most often eats, so that could be a problem.  He had fun playing at day care, with me sitting in the corner.

We stopped to watch a shovel digging a big hole, which was way cool.  Is it called a power shovel?  A steam shovel?  Hydraulic?  What???  I felt like a failure-mom exclaiming: "Wow!  Look at that big construction vehicle!"

But even more cool - we went to the train station & watched some trains.  Oh my!  WISH I had my camera for that.  G's hilarious dramatics played out as he exclaimed & pointed & did berserk dancing for each train.  There were tears when we left.

Found a sandpit playground at the Riverwalk.  Hours o' fun for G.  I'm sure that getting the sand out of his curls will provide hours o'fun for me.

Everything now is our "last."  Last full Tuesday of maternity leave.. last weekday library trip.. last wave to the garbage man.. etc.  Trying to milk it for all it's worth.

Maternity Leave

I don't want to waste any of my precious days/hours/minutes grieving the fact that I'm returning to work soon.



It's hard.

I am rich

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about finding "a new normal" where I wasn't overwhelmed all the time any more.  The following days I was totally overwhelmed and wondering what I had been thinking.

But this week we seemed to have turned another corner towards normal - and I have proof!  Twice this week I stayed up late accomplishing things, got 4 hours of sleep, and was fine the next day.  And today we did something spontaneous.  I've missed being able to do both of those things.

This morning we were up & out early to drop off G's day care registration.  It's official & settled.  Ah-yah-yee-ah!  And guess what God did?  Remember one of the only things I didn't like about this school was that the teacher was leaving in August?  She's decided to stay!

And, our spontaneous adventure?  We went to the ZOO!  After stopping at the day care, I was enjoying the gorgeous morning, and decided to just keep driving to the zoo.  What joy.  I wonder - of the world's population - how many people today had access to a zoo; and could afford it; and actually got to go?  Not only did I get to go, but I got to go with my beautiful son, who God rescued & gifted to me.  This boy really likes watching our backyard squirrels, and I got to experience him seeing GIRAFFES for the first time.  I don't know if I'm capturing it well enough.  It was awesome.

Actually, there are awesome moments every day (even when I'm overwhelmed).  I'm so richly blessed.

G did enjoy the zoo.  It took him a while to get into it.  At our first stop, he thought the elephants were ok and the Canadian geese were great.  ugh.  He gave the wolves a "Wooooow" (this from the boy who is terrified of dogs).  The camels - ? - were another favorite.  But the all-time favorite, even better than the geese, were the sea lions.  Those earned screams of delight.

And when I pushed naptime back too far, and G tipped over towards meltdown, I was able to scoop him up & talk with him, and help him get back control before he spiraled down.  That might have been my favorite part of the whole day.  We're both learning.

Unfortunately, spontaneity means not having your camera ready.  I bought a disposable one at the zoo, so I'll post photos once I get them.

Happy Friday!

Think we have it!

G & I made a second visit to a day care today, and I was again impressed. We talked about G's situation; how we could handle his transition, and how they would cope with the special challenges he'll bring. I liked all of their answers & their attitude!

The teacher is dreamy-perfect. The class size is small. The mood is peaceful but busy. The staff & teachers have degrees in Early Childhood Ed. They have lovely acreage outside.

The biggest drawbacks are cost (so so so expensive!) and that the teacher is pregnant and leaving in August. Regarding the teacher, I've decided it's still our best option. This lovely teacher will help G transition into day care. Based on every teacher I met there, the next teacher is sure to also be good. Regarding the cost, I've decided that God would not bring me this far and then let me down. He is going to provide.

If this really is IT, it is a HUGE relief to have settled.

In between today's day care visit and a doctor visit, we also found time for a visit to the park. Loving this weather!!!

Now I Get It

I've spent the last 7 weeks feeling overwhelmed and guilty over all the things I haven't been doing. But a "new normal" seems to be emerging. It's putting those last 7 weeks into perspective.

In my new normal, G's poop does not coming in overflowing waterfalls every 1/2 hour. It can be contained by a diaper and only comes a couple of times a day. I've just realized that G is not constipated. This is normal.

In my new normal, G does not demand to be held every single second. In fact, he is content - occasionally - for brief periods - to play by himself.

In my new normal, I am not exhausted & coughing nonstop. I can't believe what a difference it makes now that I feel better.

I like my new normal.

The Boy is Odd

Proof in two parts.

Part One:
This morning we were sitting in the rocker, watching the SNOW, when I noticed a spider climbing down the window. In a minute, G noticed it too. He slid off my lap, used his hand to smash the spider, gave the carcass a look of disgust, and crawled back up on my lap.

Part Two:
Also this morning, we saw two dogs running through our backyard. They were tiny little things, clearly newly escaped & going berserk with their freedom. I tried to get my shoes on, but they were already gone before I got to the door. Not long after, G pointed out their return - only this time, they were trailed by a frantic man. I opened my back door & called out "C'mon! C'mon puppies!" It worked! They ran straight for the door... until G caught sight of them and started SCREAMING, like only he does. It's not like one long extended noise. It's like intermittent SIREN BLASTS of terror & anger combined. Needless to say, the dogs did a U-turn and the man chased on.

Who do you know who has a calm disgust with spiders and a raging terror of quiet little fluffy dogs?