Planning Ahead

From G, over breakfast:

"I have a big day today.  I'm gonna play with Abby on the playground.  I have a lot of friends who want to play with me.  I'm gonna have to tell them - 'Sorry guys.  I can only play with one at a time'."

Funny in the Morning

Yesterday G woke with no trouble.  As he stumbled to the shower, he shook his head and said “..another busy day at school....”  As if he’s some 50-year-old on his way to the office.

This morning he made a funny face.  When I questioned him, he explained:
“I’m stretching my lips out.”

“Why are you stretching your lips out?”

“They feel a little bit tight.”

After I laughed, he added: “What?  Everyone does it.”

Really?

Soccer Fun

I'm glad G is able to be on a soccer team.  It's working because his babysitter Mr. Peter takes him to the 5:00 practices.  I meet them there and take G home.  Perfect!

Last Saturday we had our team photos taken.  I got to meet another mom - Denise - there.  Denise asked who my child was, and I pointed out G. 

Denise (confidently): I've talked with his father.

Me (stumbling, looking around to see if there's a Black man in the room): uhhh...

Denise (trying to help me): ... your husband.

Me: uhhh...

Eventually we determine that she has talked with Mr. Peter.  i.e. My 19-year-old babysitter.  i.e. NOT my husband!  Seriously?

This Saturday G had his first game.  G invited everyone under the sun, but the only person able to come was Joseph's dad.  He got to witness a thrilling game.  Interestingly, G - normally so very bold - was not.  He'd kind of jog over to the ball and then let someone else kick it.  He enjoyed playing but didn't seem to fully grasp the purpose or the competitive aspect.

Joseph's dad left a bit early and Denise caught my eye.

Me (helpfully): He's not my husband either.

Denise (confidently): But he is G's dad.  Well, obviously.

Me: No.  But he is my other son's dad.

Conclusion - G is currently the weakest link on his team.  I'm not much more solid among the moms.  But we are both enjoying soccer!

Library Planning with G

Remember that book about the dragon and the princess? 

The book our friends sent to you?

No.  Not that book.  The dragon's name was....  The dragon's name was....  I don't remember.

St George and the Dragon?

No.  Not that book.  The dragon said....  The dragon said....  I don't remember.
Can we get that book?

Dinner Conversation with G

I like airports.

Why do you like airports, G?

Dat’s where da airplanes are. (duh)

Is there somewhere that you’d like to go?

I would like to go to China.

Why?

To see da people.

To see Chinese people?

Yes.  To see da China people.

And what would you do there?

Wewl, if dere’s war, den I can help.

How would you help?

I get a sword and I poke people.

(Feel like I should clarify that he's imagining helping Chinese people, not fighting against them.  And also that I should clarify that I have No Idea why he started talking about this.  We've been reading about the American Revolutionary War and also about medieval times, so maybe he's coming from that?  But - really - Who could ever understand the mind of this child?)

Quotable G

First thing as he woke me in the morning:

"Mama.  Does our president work for other countries?"


As he runs into the kitchen, wearing his SuperG cape and wielding his sword:

"FIGHT THIS WAR!!!  (and under his breath..)  I supposed to have my goggles on when I fight da war...."
 

5 minutes later:

"I hit my head.
It's not broken.
(tilts it towards me..)
See it?"


At the breakfast table:

"Yay!  Orange juice!  My favorite breakfast liquid!"


This boy.

Morning Quote from G

"That's amazing how you do that!"

(as he watched me tie my shoes)

Quotable G

 

When explaining why he made a bad choice:

 “I wasn’t thinking in my brain.”

 

After starting school:

 “I don’t like being shy, but my body says: Be Shy!”

 

When explaining why he let fellow Kindergartner Kenya be unkind:

“She looks good so I didn’t want to make her mad.”

 

When reciting the alphabet:

 “… H, I, J, K, em-el-enno-pee, Q, R, S…”

 

When I signed him up for a introduction to basketball class (knowing that he can barely dribble):

“They’ll probably make 2 teams and then everyone will clap for me!”

 

 

My Cooking. It is that bad. Really.

I spent some time this summer around real moms.  Moms who cook.  And I've been inspired, in my own little way, to spend more time preparing meals.

Last week I was trying a slow cooker lasagna recipe.  It involved browning ground beef.  This is not something that I usually do.  Or something that I ever do.

Evidence:

I'm at the stove and G approaches me: "Waz dat?"

Me: "I'm cooking meat."

G: "Das not meat."

Me: "Yes.  It's a different kind of meat.  It's not chicken meat.  It's beef meat."

5 minutes later G comes back for another peek.  With complete confidence, he announces: "Das not meat" and walks away.

Case closed.

Waz Dat?

Because I bought a certain meat at the deli, they gave me this free re-usable bag.

I was unpacking the groceries, when G started staring intently at the bag.  "Waz dat Mama?"

"That's a new bag I got."

"No, Mama.  Waz DAT?..."  (pointing to the picture)

"... Dat's heaven???"

Actually, Son, I'm guessing Italy. 

But what do I know?

G Composes a Letter

Dear Joseph,

And I love you.  And I think about you.  I hope I see you.  Please come home.  Please.

We got a thing.  We like it.  It making us sleep.  Sorry you can't have it because it's ours.  We have it first.

Love,
G




Bet you wish you had a thing too, don't you?

But you can't have it because it's ours.  We have it first.

Ha!

Christmas Break

You gonna play with me Mama?

Sure G

Trucks is you favorite?

Well, G, I will play trucks with you, but they are not my favorite.

Ok Mama.  You can play cars.  I'll play trucks.

Delight

Our home has moved a little closer back to normal.

It is wonderful to watch this boy playing,

encouraging his trucks to "Push with all your MIGHTY!"

It is wonderful to laugh.

Tidbits from Yesterday

I'm finding that with Joseph gone, I have more time on my hands.

Last night I actually tried.... a new recipe!

(And - it even exceeded my typical cooking criteria -

it had more than 5 ingredients and took more than 5 minutes of prep.)

G came in while I was preparing it.  He asked, "What you doin' Mama?"

I said, "I'm making a new kind of recipe."

He said, "What's dat... Dat's some cereal?"

Poor kid.  He thinks that cereal is a recipe. 

I don't know where he would've gotten that impression.

One more thing that made me smile last night....

I was bustling around and G wanted me.  He called out, "Honey?"  "Honey?"

I couldn't answer him right away since I was busy laughing at him.

He called again, "HoneyMom?"

That's me.  HoneyMom.

G vs Privacy

We've been learning about "privacy" lately... that sometimes people (read: Mama) need a little privacy.  G is very interested in the concept.

We practice. 

"G, Mama is going to use the bathroom.  I will be out in one minute."

"You need privacy?"

"Yes, I would like a little privacy.  Thank you."

I close the door.

I am alone!

Except for the little voice that is clearly coming from a small person who is lying on his stomach, face pressed up to the crack under the door.

"Be safe in dere...."

"Don't be locked in dere...."

"I can see yo bottom...."

Interested in the concept... but not quite grasping the concept.

Dinner Time

G is goofing around - blowing air in & out of his straw.

I chastise: "G.  Please stop messing around."

G is exasperated: "Mom.  I am a elephant."

Ha!

Cementing my reputation as “that mom”

I am the mom who thinks her child is fascinatingly adorable.

(((At least G is adorable. Joseph is causing my hair to go grey. Seriously. Remember his college scholarship? He never mailed the acceptance letter which is due this week. So he called his counselor and got a new contract mailed to him. And he lost it. No joke. Now he did find it and get it mailed off today – nick of time – but not before a few new greys sprouted. That kid!)))

So this morning I was carrying G and he started kissing me. The kisses were fast & furious. A bit too much. I was craning my neck to gracefully escape, but they kept coming. I tried to signal that the kissing was over by saying:

“Wow G. You gave me 100 100 kisses.”

He paused. Then…

“Ow. My mouth huwts….

…

I need to settle down.”

C’mon. That is hilarious, yes and no?

A Quick Smile

I am planning to post about the conference.  But until I get to that...

G (to me): "Das my coffee.  You wanna dink it?"

Me: "I can't.  I'm fasting from coffee.  Joseph isn't fasting.  He can drink it."

G (to Joseph): "Here.  You not fast.  You slow."

One Little Word

Rustle Rustle. 

Rattle. 

Clatter! 

Crash! 

(pause)

"Iz ok Mama.  I no break it yet."

It's the "yet" that gets me.

Reasons I loved Target tonight

G didn't nap at school today. 

This led to a less-than-enjoyable evening.

After school, I HAD to take him to Target to pick up his prescription.  A 10 minute drive.  During which he screamed for 9 1/2 minutes: "I NO WANNA GO TARGET!"  The last 30 seconds of the drive he konked out and fell into a deep sleep.

Which I had to wake him from.

Instead of carrying him into the store, I noticed a cart nearby (reason #1 why I loved Target tonight), and I decided to quickly swing him into it.  Best decision ever - as I noticed a certain wetness on my hand after plopping him in.  A wetness that had soaked through his pants.  But at least did not end up on me.

I immediately thought of the next youngster who would be plopped into this cart.  And his poor innocent mom.  Who probably left her Dunkin Donuts cup at the post office for my child to drink from, but STILL I do not wish her harm.  And I remembered that Target has sanitizing cart wipes by the entrance (reason #2 why I loved Target tonight).  Returning good for evil, that's me.

Because I went ahead and took G shopping.  Yep, with wet pants.  And, as I have mentioned, we do garner a bit of attention when we're out.  But the gawkers couldn't actually SEE the pants.  And I had gone through a lot of trouble to get there.  And I needed G's prescription.

You may have gathered by now that G is a little bit unpredictable.  Not much in the way of filters.  So I'm pushing G through the store and praying: God, please don't let G shout out something about having wet pants, pleeeeeze.  I'm sure I appeared perfectly natural as we navigated the store... my smile plastered in place, pushing the cart as fast as humanly possible, looking totally innocent, terrified that I was about to experience the Scene to end all Scenes.

I zipped over to the pharmacy section, cut across the lane, turned to get to the counter... and encountered two guys waiting in line.  I had never experienced a line here before.  That is one of the reasons I love Target.  But not tonight.  Still in my "innocent frantic mom" mode, I asked the guys: "Are you in line?"

I have already explained that they were clearly waiting in line.  They looked and there was an awkward pause.  I filled in: "I mean, obviously you are in line." 

One guy decides to rescue me: "Well, we could've just been standing here.  This is a nice aisle after all."

Guy #2 helps out: "Yeah, we've got analgesics, ointments, lots of great stuff right here."

(Friendly co-shoppers.  Reason #3 for loving Target.)

Gratefully, I jump in: "Yeah, I really should spend more time in this aisle myself."  Nervously mindful that I have engaged people in conversation while pushing my unpredictable sitting-in-potty-pants child.

Guy #1 looks at G: "Hey Buddy.  What's your name?"

(Me, silently: Oh no; oh no; pleeeeeeze.)

G: Silent.  Gives Guy a blank look of distaste.

(Me, hopefully: Hooray; he's doing his unresponsive thing)

Guy #1 becomes too friendly, thus threatening Target reason #3: "Buddy, what's your name?"

G: Pointing at Guy #2: "Yo bottom."

(Me: ohmygoodness ohmygoodness  He did NOT just point to the guy's rear end and proclaim: "Your bottom!"  What?!?!  Thank GOODNESS for his speech issues.  Thank GOODNESS that was unintelligible!) 

Guy #1: "Uh?  My bottom?"

(Me: stunned.  Where do I go?  What do I say?  I check out the guy's rear.  It is a nice bottom.  Although I hope my son wasn't noticing that.  I try to think of a witty joke about the guy's bottom.  Wittiness escapes me.  I have nothing.  I say nothing.  I am frozen.)

Guy #1 is frozen.  He slowly swivels back around.  He moves unnecessarily forward in line and slightly around a corner.

He does not make eye contact again.

We get our prescription, get out to the car, and sanitize the cart.  We have survived.

And for that, I loved Target tonight.