Cementing my reputation as “that mom”

I am the mom who thinks her child is fascinatingly adorable.

(((At least G is adorable. Joseph is causing my hair to go grey. Seriously. Remember his college scholarship? He never mailed the acceptance letter which is due this week. So he called his counselor and got a new contract mailed to him. And he lost it. No joke. Now he did find it and get it mailed off today – nick of time – but not before a few new greys sprouted. That kid!)))

So this morning I was carrying G and he started kissing me. The kisses were fast & furious. A bit too much. I was craning my neck to gracefully escape, but they kept coming. I tried to signal that the kissing was over by saying:

“Wow G. You gave me 100 100 kisses.”

He paused. Then…

“Ow. My mouth huwts….

…

I need to settle down.”

C’mon. That is hilarious, yes and no?

Mensa, anyone?

G has gone from pirate

..to..

Kid genius, no?  Pretty soon we're not going to need to go to the doctors any more.  G looks smart enough to treat himself.

And - best of all - the eye is looking way better!

It's a good thing G has gone the genius route.  This arrived in the mail for him:

Need a close-up on the return address?

Yes, G has received his first notice from the IRS.  Hopefully when he was in med school he also squeezed in some courses on tax law.

Because we need more paperwork in our lives right now.

Next doctor appointments on Friday.  Keep praying.


(Don't worry.  The IRS was just returning some of G's papers.  But since the envelope made me laugh, I wanted to share that with you.)

Is It Friday Yet?

In the old days (two weeks ago) the pace of my life often felt frenzied.  So if this new pace is wearing me out a bit... well...

Today we woke early and jetted off to the hospital for an appointment.
Zipped back home to administer medicines & hand G off to Mr. Jim.
Rushed to work.  I led my team in an all-afternoon meeting
...but sped home to administer the 3:00 eye drops
...and flew back into the meeting
(thanked God for our capable Assistant Director!)
After work, dashed to pick up Joseph.
Ran home to grab G.
Scurried to drop Joseph at bible study.
Zipped to get G's new glasses.
(thanked God for my sister who researched the shop for me!)
Scooted home to feed G.
Bedtime (late again)!

I'm aware that everything about that scenario could be much much worse.  But if we skipped Wednesday & Thursday this week, I wouldn't complain.

Today's hospital appointment was at 9:00.  We left at 7:15

.... and were late!!!

Traffic was extreme.  At one point I was inching along in the left lane.  Our windows were down.  G leaned over towards his window and started hollering:
(remember to picture his little accent)

"Hey Buddy!

Buddy!

Eveyone!!

Stop doing that!

Make way!

Look at us!

Buddy!!!

We has to go!

Goooooooo eveyone!"

Four-year-old road rage.

I have no idea where he gets that from.

And - yes - I was driving my stick shift in stop & go traffic AND scribbling down those quotes for you.  You're welcome.


You may actually be here because you want to know how the appointment went.

Very well!

The doctor was pleased.  He could see where they lasered and said it's looking "excellent."

This doc had given me a glasses prescription for G.  I had asked another doc when to get those and she said in a couple of weeks.  Today's doc chastised me: "No, the glasses are what's going to protect vision in the right eye." 

I asked how we're doing with the risk of blindness.  He said it's getting lower every day.  The risk of complete blindness is now "low."

I know that you are praying for G.  Thank you.


Ok - one more quote from G's day for you....

"Dis is hawd."

"What's hard G?"

"Stay still."

I know, G.  I know.

Laying Low

The doctor explained that it's crucial to keep G still.  He can't fall, bump or rock his head, wet his eye, etc.

He fell today.  This resulted in severe trauma... to me.  This eye injury is killing me.

Seriously - can you imagine keeping this boy still???  Today I pulled out a Sure Thing in the world of lowkey activities: flashcards.

Only G could turn flashcards into a wildly bouncing spinning endeavor.

Bedtime may come early tonight.

Easter Feast

Today a cold cut sandwich from the hospital cafeteria gave us a break from the same old holiday meal.

We were instead feasting on good news.

First - Jesus is risen.  Seriously, it gets to me more each year.  Knowing that a completely innocent man chose to die so that I could choose life... amazing!  Totally celebrating today that Jesus is alive!

Second - G had another good appointment.  Both eyes are holding tight.  There's no sign of cataracts.  The retinas seem to still be attached (there's still the one place that can't be seen due to the condensed blood).  The doctor used the phrase "beautifully attached."  Sounds good to me!

Next appointment is Tuesday.

Happy Easter!

Start of the Season

Today kicked off one of G's favorite spectator sports....

Lawn Mowing!

I'm sure that you all spent the day watching the front yard be mowed.  And then the back yard.  Good times.

It was a nice break from the doctor visits anyway.

G seems to be doing well.  We can't really know.  The doctors said that when (if) the retina detaches, there won't be any symptoms.  That's why we're going to the hospital so often.  Tomorrow's appointment is at 1:00, which doesn't leave much time for celebrating Easter with family.  We'll see how that goes.

I shared all good news yesterday, but the future of G's sight is still unknown.  Thanks for continuing to pray.

Little Miracles

Joseph is entertaining (protecting) our patient so that I can type an update.

I made it to work today for a few hours.

Mr. Jim survived another harrowing day protecting G.

When we hit the highway it was totally full of traffic - but it cleared up enough for us to make our first hospital appointment on time.

G had not napped & was "agressive" (Mr. Jim's gentle description) - but he cooperated with the doctors!!

The opthamologist was happy with what he saw!  G is starting to open his left eye.  There's no inflammation.  He seems to have some vision in it.  It looks "great".  So far, the retina seems to still be attached!!!  The right eye looks fine.

Our 2:00 appointment was in the hospital and our 3:30 appointment was across town... and we made it on time!

The plastic surgeon was happy with what he saw!  He said the cheek "is going to heal fine."  He said that the interior damage was not as bad as originally thought.  He switched his follow up appointment to match another date/time when I'll already have to be in that area.

There was no bad news.

How amazing is that?  Is it possible that a few (thousand) people are praying for us?

Hope you are able to be thoughtful today about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us so long ago.  We're looking forward to celebrating: HE IS RISEN!  Happy Easter, friend.

Twist

I made it to my work today for a few hours.  That felt important since I need to preserve whatever vacation hours I can.

Mr. Jim was very nervous coming over.  G's eye is delicate.  He cannot fall, jar his body in any way, touch his eye, etc.  My busy fearless boy needs to be a couch potato.  Not an easy task to oversee. 

At the hospital, G had been writing "letters" to Mr. Jim.  He was thrilled to see him today!



Do you remember the anxiety I felt when G's day care school "invited him" to find other arrangements? 

Look at where that led us!

If the day care problems hadn't happened, G would still be enrolled there.... and there's no way he could have gone there today with his eye as it is.  We would not have known Mr. Jim.  Mr. Jim would not have known G - nor had the courage to care for him today.

What a cool provision God gave us when he allowed G to be kicked out of day care.

How about that.

Where We've Been

G had an accident.  He fell and hurt his eye.  We've been going back & forth, seeing lots of different doctors.

Would appreciate everyone's prayers.  Thank you.

Understanding G

I zip around, trying to get breakfast on the table, when G pipes up:

"Im-a play in the puddle."

"NO.  Do not play in the puddle." (rotten, leaking refrigerator)

"Im-a play in the puddle!"

"Mama said NO.  I will clean up the puddle in a minute." 

"Mom.  I say you.  Im-a PLAY INNA PUDDLE!"

"G...."  (sees him opening the fridge)  lightbulb  "I'm sorry.  It would be great if you would get out the butter."

Sometimes the speech issues cause trouble, but mostly they're just adorable.

Two more of my favorite G-isms:

DEE-DAUSE = "because"

DAS NOK OK = "That's not ok" (a phrase that I regularly use with G, and with sometimes comes back my way from G - usually very calmly & seriously - as he warns me: "Mom.  Das nok ok."

What I Learned, Part 1

I have been having the most productive week ever.  Tasks that have cried out to me for months - finished!  I'm feeling pretty great... with a smidge of "blog guilt" thrown in.  Sorry I've abandoned you.

In reviewing what I learned at the House Calls Counseling conference, I found lots of lessons worth sharing.  It's going to have to be done in parts.


Part One...  Brains.

When a baby is born, his brain is formed but not yet fully developed.  The brain develops bottom up - simplest to most complex functions.  Thus, a newborn's brain can transmit signals regarding body functions, but the brain can't yet reason how to pull toast out of the toaster.

When a baby has negative experiences over & over & over (e.g. cries but his needs are never met in response), it changes his brain.  Physically, his body is impacted.

Here is a photo that compares a normal 3-year-old's brain to one of a 3-year-old who endured extreme early childhood neglect. 
The neglected child's brain is shockingly smaller.

Cortisol is a stress hormone.  Think "fight or flight reflex."  When a child experiences stress, it causes an increase in the cortisol in their body.  When the child experiences repetitive stress (neglect), their body decides that it needs more cortisol, and starts producing it on a continuous basis.  The child's body physically is programmed to function in "fight or flight" mode all.the.time.  Regardless of how the child may appear to outsiders, on the inside, he's living in the right side of his brain (emotion/reaction, not logic/reasoning).

Also - The last part of the brain to develop is the pre-frontal cortex - which controls a person's ability to reason.  A person needs to be able to access that part of the brain in order to make logical decisions.

Imagine this.... I'm typing when suddenly a spider sits down beside her (we've been practicing nursery rhymes) appears by my head.  I scream & jump up because my "fight or flight mode" kicks in.  But then I chill & kill the spider because my brain quickly moves into "logic mode."

When a child's brain has not developed normally, it physically cannot get into "logic mode" (left brain hemisphere).  He cannot feel safe.  At the sign of a trigger, he goes back to only functioning from "emotion mode" (right brain hemisphere).  He cannot reason.  Physically cannot.

Soooooo....  the big question we ask this child

"WHY did you do that?"

is not relative.  The truth is: He does not know why he did it.

The flow of information does not happen between the emotion & logic sides of the brain.

The emotion side rules.

So what should a parent do?

I think Billy Kaplan of House Calls said this:

"Trying to get at the truth only hurts you. 

Get to the child's experience of what happened."

Basically, this parent's job becomes helping their child understand his own experience...

"If what you say is true, what does that mean?"

I'm skipping so much good stuff, but G just woke up, and I have to hit PUBLISH. 

The right hemisphere of my brain HAS to hit PUBLISH.

Please note that I'm not trying to tell you anything in particular regarding my family here.  Just sharing some learning that I found fascinating.  Hope you enjoyed my super-simpled-down version.

Running Late

This morning I'm hurrying around like a maniac, when....

"You cuddle me Mom?"

I turn to look at my shadow.

"I jus like to cuddle me."

Me too, G. 

Always time for a cuddle.

Conference

Thank goodness!  I was overwhelmed by last weekend's conference, and had no idea how to summarize the experience. Thankfully, Christine summarized it.  Perfectly.  It was everything she wrote – and maybe more.  It was seriously that good.

(Shout out to Pam & Joseph, who both watched G so I could attend!)

I learned so much.

But the best thing about the conference was not what I learned; it was who I met.

I met another single mom… in my area… with a son who spent his early life in an orphanage!
I met a mom… in my area… with a son who shares some unusual behaviors with G!
I met a mom… in my area… with a son adopted from Haiti!
I met a mom whose daughter USED to share one of G’s behaviors!
I met Christine (rock star mom)!

I was accepted, not judged, understood, encouraged… and I got to return the favor as much as I could.

Wow.

But the best part of "who I met" was someone I already knew!  Do you remember me writing about Lindsay?... the woman who was amazing with the children in my son’s orphanage?... Lindsay was at the conference!

I was trying to minimize babysitting time for G, so I’d taken him with me to register in the morning.  I was chatting with someone, when I suddenly realized that a woman was crouched down right next to my son.  Huh?!  I turned to shoot her a “personal space invasion look of doom,” when I realized it was Lindsay!  Total shocker.  I may or may not have kissed her.  I was pretty excited.

So, in addition to everything else, I got to catch up with someone special and hear a bit about our Haiti friends!

I’ll try to share some of what I learned from the conference later this weekend.


Um. I’ll also try not to use excessive exclamation points again. Although I can’t make promises.

A Quick Smile

I am planning to post about the conference.  But until I get to that...

G (to me): "Das my coffee.  You wanna dink it?"

Me: "I can't.  I'm fasting from coffee.  Joseph isn't fasting.  He can drink it."

G (to Joseph): "Here.  You not fast.  You slow."

Fallout

I spent the weekend at an AMAZING "therapeutic parenting" conference.  It was instructive and encouraging and... overwhelming.  What an intense weekend.

Today Mr. Jim wrote me a note: "G was really emotional today.  When I wouldn't let him do something he started crying...."

Tonight at dinner G said "I'm like-a baby.  Feed me Mama."  And we did the baby routine all through the meal.  I needed to hold him, feed him, clean his face with the spoon, burp him. 

Totally coincidental, I'm sure, that his days with babysitters led to this regression.

At least I can practice all of my wonderful therapeutic parenting.