Learning to Play

A friend commented recently on the development of G's imagination.  I've been wanting to write about that, but especially after I saw what Lori wrote at Countdown to Homecoming.  You should read it.  She perfectly summed up our experience with "learning to play."  Our only difference is that - instead of stuffing string into cars - G stuffed little toys into zippered bags... as many toys as possible... and cried when no more toys would fit.


I remember last year when the first warm-enough-to-play-outside day came.  I bundled G & myself up.  I took a book to the back deck so I could read while G played.  I choose a place to sit in the sun at the edge of the deck.  ...  And G sat rightnext to me.  I let him sit there a while to acclimate. 


And he kept sitting.  I picked him up off the deck and encouraged him to "go play."  He looked at me and came to stand rightnext to me.  I read for a while. 


And he kept standing.  I got down, picked up a big stick and gave it to him.  He stood there and held it.  I waited.


And he kept holding it.  Finally I got down and got my own stick.  I showed him things a stick can do... tap on the deck, drag in the mud, reach to the tree... demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate. 

Then I went back to my book.  And G came to sit rightnext to me.  So frustrating!

fast forward

Recently we had our first warm-enough-to-play-outside day of this year.  G ran outside and immediately invented the game of "find the biggest two sticks you can; throw one up in the air, and hit it with the other stick."  

 

 Yay G!

Spring

The need to squint in the sunshine.  What joy!

...and - No - I don't know why squinting also involves his nose & mouth.

What I Do

G often wants us to stay home together.  I usually tell him that I have to go to work so I can make money.. and then I can use the money to buy food, pay for our house, etc.

So today I'm watching G play.

He's doing this weird thing - kneeling on the floor and pretending to pick things up.

What are you doing, G?

(Wearily) I goin-a work.

What are you doing at work?

I gotta get monies (mimicks picking more money off the ground).

Oh - like Mama gets money at work.  And what do I do after I get the money?

Put it inna food (mimicks rolling the money into a big ?food mush?).

And after I'm done with the food...?

Come home.

There you have it folks, a synopsis of what I do all day every day!

G's on his way!

I goin-a vacation.

Really?  Where are you going?

Fo-dah.

Why are you going to Florida?

Da baby's in Fo-dah.

What are you going to do in Florida?

Ima play.  Ima work.  I hafta work in Fo-dah.

Well, let me take a picture so I can show Aunt Kirsti that you're in Florida. 

I move G's packed truck out of the dusty corner of the bathroom so I can take a photo.

G obliges, but makes sure I know.  "DAS not Fo-dah.  (pointing)  Fo-dah over there."

Apparently Florida is in a very specific corner of our bathroom.  Good to know.

Blessed

I don't want to live like "Wow, I'm blessed.  I have great kids; they're healthy; I have a job and a house....AND I have Jesus."

As if Jesus is the gravy.

I want to live like "Wow, I'm blessed.  I have Jesus.  I was without hope - doomed - when Jesus paid a price I couldn't pay to rescue me.  Great news!"

As if Jesus is everything.

Love this, from Hebrews 12:

¹ Therefore... let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

(If you happen to know Emily, please note that she can do a fab re-enactment of this verse.  Also note that I'm referring to Emily, my friend, not Emily, my niece.  What with my niece being 9 months old, she's not really big into the re-enactments.  Yet.)

My pastor once said - If someone asks you what's important in their lives, you don't want to hear "Well, first is God.  Second is my family.  Third is my work...."  You want to hear "First is God.  Period."  And then you love your family through your love for God, not just in your own strength.  You do your work through God's equipping and for God's glory.

What with me not being a pastor, I'm sure that he said it better than I just did.

Anyway - that makes sense to me.  I want to live like that.  Running the race set out before me... with my eyes fixed on Jesus... with purpose in every step :)


That was a long intro.


So - God just gave my family a huge gift.

You remember how Joseph applied to several colleges, but he only wanted to go to THE ONE?

     ...and then he got accepted to THE ONE.


          ...He just got a scholarship!

               ...a FULL RIDE scholarship to THE ONE!


I feel some kind of crazy-blessed.  Which, if you read my intooooo, is not exactly how I want to describe things.  How about:

We were already fully blessed. 

And we were just gifted with some mad gravy.

Thanks God.

Gardening Chez G

G & I did some "gardening."

There are some reasons I suspect the Gardening Network will not be calling us for advice any time soon.

1. We only pick seeds labeled "easy to grow."
2. We garden in the kitchen.
3. In tupperware.
4. While wearing our Sunday chuch clothes.

....BUT it was fun.  And maybe this will be the year where something actually grows. 
We shall see.

Big Gift

We had friends over for dinner this week.


That's big.


We had friends over for dinner this week!

These are good friends who live nearby, but they hadn't even met G yet. 

It's enough of a challenge for me to work, fill (somewhat) my son's emotional needs, get my house (kind of) clean, and accomplish all of the other bare necessities each day.  Socializing doesn't own a time slot.  And inviting someone to dinner is WAY outside my reality.

So how did this happen?

My coworker Diane - for no reason - cooked me a lasagna.  A full lasagna!  Just brought it to work and told me dinner was ready.  I called my friends, and they came over.  Voila!

So, not only did Diane feed my family (today & probably twice more from the leftovers), but she also gave me a party - a reunion with dear friends.  For no particular reason.

Diane is probably more busy than I am.  She also works full time.  Volunteers extensively with two organizations and her church.  Is married.  Has 4 (grown) children.  Has plenty of her own friends.  But chose to bless me.

I'd like to be that nice some day.

Today, I'm just glad Diane is that nice.

Amazing Artwork

You haven't asked, but I will tell you my own favorite-ever post:

Confident Expectation

I love that G knows I will always think his work is fantastic.


Today's example was when this was presented to me...

...with great joy & pride!


Me: "G, what an amazing picture!"

G: "I make it!"

Me: "The orange is beautiful!"

G: "Iz like-a house!"

Me: "A great orange house!"

G: "Fo Jajesh an me an Mama!"

Yes, a great orange house for our family.  Dig it.

An interesting result of our family weekend

Apparently, G was paying attention last weekend.


His cousins have a dad.


My sister & I have a dad.


This led to some interesting conversations this week for Mr. Jim, including:

"You my daddy?"

and

"You my daddy."

Mr. Jim has felt a bit uncomfortable.


I like the conversations.  Love seeing how G's mind works - observing what's around him and trying to apply it to himself.  And - our family is unusual.  When G brings it up, we have good conversations about what our family does look like.

"Our family does not have a daddy.
Our family has a mama and a brother and a brother."

Good opportunities to talk about God as our Father too.

This ties in with how G has been trying to figure out who loves him. 

Enter: The Project.

We cut up a bunch of photos of our family & friends... talked about how they're related... what the families look like... how they're all different... who we love...etc.

G liked The Project.  We went back to it a few times this weekend.

Whether or not he now accepts that Mr. Jim is not his daddy - well, that remains to be seen.

Love

Pete has been doing some work at my house.

...like going into the crawl space to prop up the floor that's sagging under the water heater!!!!!!!  But that's a story for another day...

G and his babysitter Mr. Jim have been watching Mr. Pete work.

Later G asked me: "Mr. Pete love me?"

Me: "No, G.  Mr. Pete does not love you.  Mr. Pete is our friend.  We like our friends.  We love our family.  Mama loves you.  Joseph loves you.  You love Mama.  blah blah blah blah love blah blah family blah blah blah blah love blah....."

G firmly asserts (no question what-so-ever): "Mr. Jim love me."

The Amazing Mr. Jim

G's school is starting a reassessment for him.  They asked me to fill out some questionnaires and also sent copies for Mr. Jim to complete, since he is with G six hours / day.

When Mr. Jim was leaving that night, he told me "I have the papers with me and I'll fill them out tonight."  I told him not to trouble himself; he could do it during the day - or he didn't need to do it if there wasn't time during the day.  He said....

"Oh no.  I won't do it during the day. 

If G wants to play, then I want to be paying attention to him."

Riiiiight.  Just like I always do.  24/7. 
Ahem.

I am amazed by Mr. Jim every day.  He is truly invested in G's care & development.  I never would've thought this kind of care would be possible for us.

Yay God!

Cousins!

We got to visit our family last weekend!

The cousins

 

G thought they were all pretty fun

He seemed especially drawn to Emily

He was very interested in everything about her.  Liked to watch her being fed.  Helped me change her diaper.  Played with her when she'd slow down enough.

(or when she was trapped in a box)

Good times.

I do it!

The little one LOVES to dress himself for going outside.

The jacket is a major production.  He's got the whole "flip it over your head" thing going on.  This requires careful laying out of the jacket, deliberate consideration over which side to stand on, and puposeful flipping of the jacket.

It also requires a rapt audience.  "WATCH ME!  WATCH ME!"  I stand at perfect attention, lest he decide that his 5 minute performance didn't get its deserved attention, thereby forcing him to start afresh.  Often I'll complete the pageantry by clapping for him, allowing us to actually move towards the door.

This morning we completed G's amazing feat of magnificence.  I put on my own jacket and grabbed my purse... and received my own applause "You did it Mama!  Good job!"

G also likes to put on his hat.  It has tasseled pieces that hang down to cover his ears.

...only somehow he tends to miss his ears.

One tassel down the back of his neck, and the other tassel down his nose.

Cute enough to make the whole jacket production enjoyable, eh?

Thought for Thursday / Money

I’ll start with disclaimers:
1.  I am not judging anyone. Different people have convictions over different things. I’m just sharing about my situation.
2.  I am not feeling guilty. This isn’t about me feeling bad over what I have. It’s about me trying to figure out what God is calling me to.


I think a lot about the money that God has entrusted to me. I am shockingly rich. If I compare myself to my neighbors or coworkers… maybe not. But when I recognize that my little Midwestern community is among the wealthiest in the world… then, yes.

I think often about the millions of people – people just like me – who cannot afford food. It blows my mind. I can’t stop thinking about them. I can’t escape from the idea that God entrusted all of this wealth to me, not just so that I could hoard it, seeking my joy from it.

I read my bible. What do I see bringing people joy? Discovering the kingdom of heaven.. discovering Jesus.. witnessing the miracles that God does…. How about this section from John 15, where Jesus is teaching us:

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

So I know that true joy for me is never going to come from the things I possess.
And I know that true joy IS going to come from staying close to Jesus and keeping God’s commands. Which makes me want to run all out in doing those two things.

How do I “keep God’s commands”? There are so many commands in the bible. Jesus said the most important command is ’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

If I look to see who my neighbor is, then it becomes apparent that it’s anyone. Certainly not just my family. Not just my friends in my little life.

Really?

So my neighbor is the forgotten lady in the nursing home. The homeless man in the city. The orphan. The widow. Families who have no homes. People living in modern day slavery. Children who are starving.

How do I love them as myself?

I’m pretty sure the answer is NOT
- Investing in a new wardrobe for myself
- Upgrading the flooring in my home
- Adding on a garage
(All things I am dreaming about doing)

God could have placed me into any life circumstances that he wanted. He could have chosen to place me in a Haitian slum. If he had, then I imagine I would view the world differently than I do. Would I think: “Go ahead, American lady, spend your money on more clothes (to fill your already-crowded closets)."

Clothing is going to be rubbish some day. My friend would say “It’s all going to burn.” Do I really want to spend my life investing in rubbish.. that will burn.. that will not bring me any real joy?

Or do I want to figure out how to really invest? I can make a choice to invest in people.. my neighbors.. folks whose lives are eternal?

Of course it’s the latter.

But how? HOW?

How do I function in the workplace where God placed me without nice professional clothes?
How will neighbors be comfortable in my home that has old, frayed carpet?
Where do I store my lawnmower that seems to be necessity, considering the home God has given me?


I think the answer must be “moderation.”

“I live simply so that others may simply live.”

But even that statement feels distasteful to me. My perception of moderation is very different from yours.. is very different than Michelle Obama’s.. is very different than that of a woman living on the edge of a Ugandan garbage dump.

What is God’s perception?

Really, did he give me this job so I could spend $100 on new clothes? And $10,000 on a garage?
Or is the line at $50 on new clothes and $500 on a new shed? With $9,500 more invested in saving the lives of my neighbors?
Or “make do for myself” – recognizing that I have more than what I need – and $10,000 more goes to saving lives?


When I come to the end of my life here, which choice will I be glad to have made?


This is how my mind spins. Are you exhausted yet? Are you still reading? 


Do any of you also struggle with these particular questions?

Death by Chutes & Ladders... and a question

I love playing games.
I am a tad bit competitive.

Unfortunately, neither of those facts seem to apply to Chutes and Ladders. 

The counting (which G still can't do).. the figuring out which ways the rows travel.. those darn chutes.  Back & forth, up & down.  Again.  Again.  Again.

Again.

I would gladly take Chutes & Ladders to my work (the garbage), except for this smile....

You'd succumb to that smile too, wouldn't you?

But that's not my real question.  My real question is WHY, when this cute guy is available,

does G always want to play with this game piece? 

I'm assuming that it's because she is the piece that looks most like me.  But I do wonder if G has picked up on the "White is better/smarter/prettier" issue in our society.  Just in case, I find myself verbalizing how wonderful the little guy piece is.  And I wonder if I'm hypersensitive or if I'm not doing enough to prepare my handsome son.

Anything to keep my mind off those darn chutes.