1. I am not judging anyone. Different people have convictions over different things. I’m just sharing about my situation.
2. I am not feeling guilty. This isn’t about me feeling bad over what I have. It’s about me trying to figure out what God is calling me to.
I think a lot about the money that God has entrusted to me. I am shockingly rich. If I compare myself to my neighbors or coworkers… maybe not. But when I recognize that my little Midwestern community is among the wealthiest in the world… then, yes.
I read my bible. What do I see bringing people joy? Discovering the kingdom of heaven.. discovering Jesus.. witnessing the miracles that God does…. How about this section from John 15, where Jesus is teaching us:
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
So I know that true joy for me is never going to come from the things I possess.
And I know that true joy IS going to come from staying close to Jesus and keeping God’s commands. Which makes me want to run all out in doing those two things.
How do I “keep God’s commands”? There are so many commands in the bible. Jesus said the most important command is ’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
If I look to see who my neighbor is, then it becomes apparent that it’s anyone. Certainly not just my family. Not just my friends in my little life.
Really?
So my neighbor is the forgotten lady in the nursing home. The homeless man in the city. The orphan. The widow. Families who have no homes. People living in modern day slavery. Children who are starving.
How do I love them as myself?
I’m pretty sure the answer is NOT
- Investing in a new wardrobe for myself
- Upgrading the flooring in my home
- Adding on a garage
(All things I am dreaming about doing)
God could have placed me into any life circumstances that he wanted. He could have chosen to place me in a Haitian slum. If he had, then I imagine I would view the world differently than I do. Would I think: “Go ahead, American lady, spend your money on more clothes (to fill your already-crowded closets)."
Clothing is going to be rubbish some day. My friend would say “It’s all going to burn.” Do I really want to spend my life investing in rubbish.. that will burn.. that will not bring me any real joy?
Of course it’s the latter.
But how? HOW?
How do I function in the workplace where God placed me without nice professional clothes?
How will neighbors be comfortable in my home that has old, frayed carpet?
Where do I store my lawnmower that seems to be necessity, considering the home God has given me?
I think the answer must be “moderation.”
“I live simply so that others may simply live.”
But even that statement feels distasteful to me. My perception of moderation is very different from yours.. is very different than Michelle Obama’s.. is very different than that of a woman living on the edge of a Ugandan garbage dump.
What is God’s perception?
Really, did he give me this job so I could spend $100 on new clothes? And $10,000 on a garage?
Or is the line at $50 on new clothes and $500 on a new shed? With $9,500 more invested in saving the lives of my neighbors?
Or “make do for myself” – recognizing that I have more than what I need – and $10,000 more goes to saving lives?
When I come to the end of my life here, which choice will I be glad to have made?
This is how my mind spins. Are you exhausted yet? Are you still reading?
Do any of you also struggle with these particular questions?
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