Joseph: Hero

Time to brag on the big kid.

My work is getting ready to open another office.  We needed to rent a van, go way up north for some heavy equipment, go way out west for heavy fragile equipment, go east to exchange item #2 for a different item #2, and then go south to drop both items off.  We had a staff member to do the driving, but surprisingly could not find a volunteer to help her.

Enter: Joseph.

In desperation, I finally asked Joseph.  He said, "Sure.  I'm glad you asked me."  And he worked ALL DAY LONG (8-6) with a nice attitude for no pay.

How about that.

Want to see?

A while ago I posted about our free photography session.  Not only was Maas Photography kind & professional, but they've also given us some beautiful photos!  If you want to see them, look here.

Whoa Dadesh?

Saturday we picked Joseph up from his summer program.

Sunday we dropped Joseph off at his dad's house.

This morning G was lethargically eating breakfast.  He stopped eating.  He looked at me and dismally pleaded, "Whoa Dadesh? Mama, whoa Dadesh?" (Translation: Where's Joseph?)

I said, "You miss your brother?"  G agreed: "Bruhduh."  And resumed eating.

How sad is that?  It's possible that Joseph will have to skip college to stay home with his bruhduh.

Catching Up

It seems I left you looking at a photo of my toilet.  For over a week.  Sorry about that.

Life has been full.  I managed to get together with my "when I was at Firstar" friends.  We enjoyed a couple of minutes of grown-up conversation at Starbucks - in between me picking up bits of things G had hurled to the floor.  I get the feeling sometimes that I serve as a lovely reminder to women everywhere: "Why I am glad that my children are not toddlers any more."  Glad I could help.

I hosted a surprise birthday party for my friend Pam.  My kind of party....  Asked my co-worker to make a cake (yes) +  Asked some of our friends to come (yes) + Asked Pam to come (yes) = Party!  Nothing fancy, but it was fun.

I survived my 6-month adoption home visit.  Why will the social worker not examine my bathtub cleanliness or test my fire alarm?!?  Does she not know that I PREPARE for her visit?  It was supposed to be my final visit, but with the adoption not yet completed, she is going to keep coming every six months.  Which is good, because I really should clean my bathtub at least twice a year.

We picked Joseph up on Saturday.  He was sad to leave his friends.  He spoke at the graduation ceremony and did a fine job.  The program leader shared something special about each graduate.  About Joseph, she noted his real love for learning, and she encouraged him in his plan to become a teacher.  I was -of course- proud.

Guess who was REALLY happy to see Joseph? Oh my. At one point I had to remove G from the auditorium. As I carried him out to the car, he was throwing his hands back towards where Joseph was, while yelling "Waiiiiiittttttt. Wait Dadesh (Joseph)! Wait Dadesh!" He did not want to lose his brother again.  Can you blame him?...

Artistic Statement?

Oh no.  So much better.  What was this:

Has become this:

Oh my word.  Joy. 

p.s. Do not ask me why my sink is huddled all alone over in that corner of the bathroom.  There are many things about my house that I just cannot explain.

Adoption Facts

This week I participated in a webinar with USC!S and various other influential adoption folk.

It has definitely been decided that USC!S will NOT consider any "secondary evidence."  Since I do not have a copy of the adoption decree, they will not consider that one may have existed (one did, and USC!S Chicago has their own secondary evidence of that).

This means that I definitely cannot move towards completing G's adoption now.  I will continue to be his "sponsor" with the government maintaining custody for the next two years.  After that time, I can begin adoption procedings.

I also learned that I could technically take G out of the USA.. but there are no guarantees that he'd be allowed back in.  So - that Senior Year family trip to Germany, which I promised to Joseph back when he started 7th grade German - not going to happen.

Let's focus.  G is alive.  He's safe.  And, today, he's with us.


(Phil 2:14)

Special Girls

Somehow I neglected to share that we got to enjoy Miss Allie's 6th birthday party in June. 

We loved celebrating this sweet girl!

Please note the ladybug birthday cupcakes (with 6 spots, of course). 

Yes, that would be another amazing display of Janis' crazy baking skills!

Here are my boys with the young ladies.

Joseph is not quite so outnumbered by girls now that G is here.

Although whenever my sister's family comes for a visit, we'll have some crazy odds. 

My boys will be in amidst SIX beautiful little girls.

Hope that happens soon.

10 Years

I was the victim recipient of a surprise party this week.  My coworkers celebrated my 10-year anniversary at work!

They did all kinds of things I'd like - gave the party an international theme; served my favorite foods; made me a music cd (with everything from Haitian worship music to Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" [how awesome is that]); sent me on "Heidi Seek" (a hide-n-seek hot/cold game to find my favorite things.. including a gift-wrapped avocado); and played fun games. 

One game was a scavenger hunt and a question was: "How many photos of G are in the office (counting the collage as one)?"  The answer was 14.. and I only have 3 in my office!  Diane said, "I went around & counted 12 last night.. and then Sharon put up 2 new ones this morning."  How sweet are my friends?

Another game was identifying the countries of the flags hung around the room.  I rocked it out on that one.  Knowing Haiti & Jamaica worked in my favor, but I really need to brush up on the flags of the middle east.  :)

Some fascinating trivia: When I was young, I liked to peruse the Encyclopedia's flag section, and draw copies of the different flags.  I admitted that to our group, and my co-worker then admitted that she used to read the Encyclopedia and write reports about animals - during her summer vacation!  How about you.. any other Encyclopedia freaks out there? 

Another game was a mad lib... designed around my life at work in the year 2020.  Good news: I'm going to be married to a German chef!  And have 16 Haitian children!  Love to laugh.  Fun to celebrate.

You know you want to visit

A free park near our home.  Dancing water.  Super good times.

Confident Expectation

When G wakes up, I rock him in our rocking chair.  The other day we were rocking, when he wiggled down and trotted off across the room.  I figured he was going to get The Comfort Object.  But instead he grabbed this:

(picture of a train on tracks, made at day care)

He turned around with it, and caught my eye - BEAMING with pride.  Everything about G indicated his confident expectation that I was going to love what he had made.


That blows me away.


Some day I'll write about my perspective on adoption.  You might be surprised to know that I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world.  But I will say this...


Every child deserves to know that someone will absolutely revel in their artistry.  Every child deserves to have that confident expectation... the knowledge that, for their parent(s), they are positively amazing.

G is realizing that he has that now.  Ah-yah-yee-ah!

Weekend Review

(nothing exciting; just a review)


Amy was here working on my yard when I got home on Friday.  My flowers look amazing.  You should come check them out.

We got to visit Joseph on Saturday.  G was in heaven.  Joseph seemed so proud of G - introducing him to everyone: "This is my little brother."  Of course, G would give no one else the time of day.  They'd try to greet him, and he'd just grunt & flip his head away.  It's embarrassing to have a child with such horrible manners.  But.. I'm also not real eager to start encouraging him to warm up to strangers so I'll live with it for now.

At church today G sat through all of the songs.  A first.

He seems huge to me.  He's stronger & faster & more regulated & smarter about everything.  I posted about his weight, but I just realized how it compares to his history:

July 2009: 20 pounds

Jan. 2010: 20 pounds

July 2010: 31 pounds

Isn't that crazy?

He's getting more apt to play.. and sometimes to play independently!  Tonight he was doing his favorite - putting things in & taking them out.. and carrying around his loads, telling me he'd be "right back."  Over & over again.

I mowed the grass tonight.  For a long time, G pushed around his truck behind me.  But towards the end he was just done.  I ended up having to mow the final rows with one hand while using my other hand to hold hands with him.  So he's not that independent yet.

Disappointment

I will start by acknowledging that many people are facing much more difficult situations than I am.

My Aunt Donna continues to battle for her life.  Her surgery this week was compounded by a heart attack.  Thanks to everyone who is praying for her.

I know that there are many more painful things happening among us.

But tonight I'll share my disappointment.

Today, my letter finally arrived from USC!S.  They have decided that I did not have a "full and final adoption" completed in Haiti.

I did.

I really did.  I don't have the energy to look back at my records now, but I think I had my "full and final adoption decree" last October.

Of course, it was destroyed in the earthquake.  I have plenty of "secondary evidence," but apparently that's not what they wanted.

This means that G will continue to live with me, but he will not legally be "my son" for...

years.

My next step is to maintain custody of him for two full years.  After that time, I can begin to submit miscellaneous government forms (I-130, I-485, and N-600 if you care) and pay lots more fees to our government ($2,375 just for the forms I've listed), and then I can apply for "evidence of his U.S. citizenship."

It is completely unfair.

Since early 2007 I have filed every form and paid every fee.  It should be impossible for our govt not to recognize this.  Yet here I am.

I know this is not the worst thing that could happen.  But I'm sad.

Explosion

That word - "explosion" - still makes me think of the days when I was cleaning sheets twice a day due to crazy diaper blow-outs.  But I'm not here now to talk about that.

We're seeing a language explosion.

Every day G is adding new words to his vocab! 

Now, you, the casual listener, might not recognize that "poo" refers to a "spoon" (or a fork, if we're being honest).  But I know - and I'm finding it very fun.

The only part that is not as fun is when the classic questions come at me for the quabillionth time.  This includes:
Wuz-za? (What's that?)  and  Ha Happen? (What happened?)

I'll illustrate with a popular discussion from my house:
G: Wuz-za?
Me: A wall.
G: Wuz-za?
Me: Wall.
G: Wuz-za?
Me: That is a wall.
G: Wuz-za?

No joke.  That discussion can last for hours (or so it seems).

But beyond that frustration it's pure fun around here.  Some language examples:

- G's word for "elbow" sounds identical to his word for "apple."  That one was figured out after he got very frustrated with me for repeatedly asking if he was hungry.
- I clapped for G the other night, and he insisted: "Bubble.  Bubble Mama."  I kept asking if he was ready for his bath, then finally realized he wanted me to add "Bravo" to my clapping.
- Yesterday he covered his eyes with his hands and announced: "Ideeg.  Ideeg Mama."  Because when your hands are over your eyes you're obviously "hiding."
- My most favorite G-ism is "Wat-ow!"  How often do you suppose I've warned him "Watch out!"

Really fun.

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And in other explosion news, I measured G tonight.  I think he's up to 35" and 31#.  If I'm right, that's an inch & a pound since my last check.  Onward!

July 7th

Two years ago today I met G for the first time.

I had gone to Haiti to meet my almost-two-year-old son.

The van pulled up with the visiting parents' children inside.  No car seats.  No seatbelts.  Just children.

Before I got to see G, one of the orphanage volunteers met me and warned, "He's small.  He's very small."

I've always been grateful that she eased my shock.

I'd never before met a two-year-old who couldn't support their weight on their little stick legs.

G was very small, but he still had spirit.  Gobs of spirit.  Even at that first visit, he was FUNNY. 

That hasn't changed.

Have I mentioned how exceedingly grateful I am to have him home?

Fourth of July

Every year we get a photo of Bapi & Joseph by the flag.  Only, Joseph is gone, and G is here!

Clarification: No people were harmed during the taking of that photo.
Thought I'd better make sure you knew that since the total lack of smiles might cause one to think otherwise.

G's new tradition of "Depressing Flag Photo" was followed up by the new tradition of "ohmygoodness-whatisgoingoninthesky and whyaminotinbed?" (aka fireworks)

Although there's no photographic evidence, G really did enjoy his first Fourth.

Loving the Arboretum

Missing Joe

G has seemed to do surprisingly fine with Joseph being gone.  He hasn't been crying or asking for him or anything.

Until this morning, when - out of the blue - G went over to the window and started yelling: "Doh! (Joe) Doh! Doooooooh!!!"

Ownership

I've been meaning to post that G has been into Identification.  Multiple times a day he thumps his chest and asserts "G!" (his version of his name).  Apparently, this is so I remember who he is.  He often follows that up by poking at me and asserting: "Mama!" 


We've recently made a transition from the great Identification game to the even better Ownership game.  It's a very similar game.  Both of the words are said exactly the same way.  But now, instead of thumping or poking us, G sticks his finger at whatever item requires clarification of possession.  Examples include my chicken dinner... (finger inserted) "Mama!"...  and my old tshirt (clutched to him) "G!"


Hours of fun, I'm telling you.